Tuesday, June 22, 2004

 
I'm maybe just a monkey, plastic. Sitting in a seat, Thinking in a thought. Drained of bittersweet memories.....

So its been quite a while since I posted anything. Alek and I are through and Kurtis and I are dating. its strange, to look back on the last year and realize what a bitch I've been to people around me. I'm trying to start over, trying to make some new friends, try some new things. But it's difficult. I feel like I'm trying to hard and annoying everyone. I don't know what to do......

Oh well.......
scribbled Aimee at 12:49 PM

Sunday, November 16, 2003

 
Hurt, Hurt, Hurt

Its funny, my creativity usually thrives off pain. But for some reason, with this, I can't write worth shit. I'm so scared that he'll pull away completely, assume something stupid, like that I'd be better off without him. I just wish I could stop being so mean, but when I'm around him lately I feel so scared and hurt, its like this fear has been building and building, and the past few days the bomb has gone off. And all I want is just to spend some time with him, and talk with him, I don't want to yell, I don't want to bitch, but out of fear I seem to go into this painful almost psychotic state were I can't control my emotions. It's hard. I can't sit still. I wish he would email, call, anything even if he doesn't have anything to say. Just to show he cares enough to see if I'm still alive.
I miss him so much.
scribbled Aimee at 9:54 AM

Friday, May 23, 2003

 
I Decide to post this again for some reason

This is a letter I wrote to my cousin Roxanne:

Hey, Sorry it took me so long to reply, Life has been hectic...
Not to sound pessimistic....(but it did take me rather long to respond...) Are you are George still together?
The so-called "War" in Iraq is ridiculous....it does amuse me how we jumped targets from Afganistan and the "evil" Osama Bin Laden, to the equally evil goverment apparatus, of "Saddam Hussein" and his cohorts. Hehehe conspritially one would think we rigged the Twin Towers crisis, just to be able to target a Mid-Eastern country so that way we could the foolish Americans behind it all and then, "sneekily hopscotch over to Iraq" and get the American "Spirit behind us, to fight a individual we've been after for a while, after all Bushie Jr.s Dad was part of the CIA that taught Osama is skills.....But thats speaking conspritially.....
There are two sides to my actual views on the war....One side is...there is alot of propaganda out there about Saddam being the "new age Hitler" and if what we are doing over there (which I entirely doubt) is liberating "his" people from his facist tyranny, I support the war almost 100%, but I do think If (and this is a huge IF) we are actually doing that, it wouldn't make much sense to be patrolling oil fields, and blowing up civilian homes. So thats why the pther part of me knows that this war is wrong, because underneath all the propaganda about our counrty being a"lovely little democrasy that saves the rest of the world from its communist terrorist and shows the the golden holy light which is our goverment" I know we're just scared shitless to be losing our luxury which is the oil fields....So of course we have to puff ourselves up proud and bound over there to kill a few 100 thousand people to save the American dream which is convienance.


Thats my take on it. America should take a tip from Switzerland and remove their hand out of the rest of the worlds ass.


I am so envious, How were the concerts? Hehehe on this side of the world we only get people like Cris Williamson...
Speaking of musicians...have you heard of John Prine...I really love him. He's a folk singer and he writes some really cool poltical songs.
My "Boyfriend" Alek and I are still together...its really great when you've found the person you have that solid connection with....only problem is it makes everything else in your life sem worthless by comparison....
Anyway, I've been ranting too long...
Aimee


scribbled Aimee at 11:45 AM

Saturday, April 26, 2003

 
Things that have been dragging down my thoughts..
I don't want to think about this again and type it again in my jounal write-y thingie (which is the very thing I am typing in right now)
So I will put the letter I sent Kika about in here and hope whoever reads it will get the gist.

Alek and I have in the past week, began to "have sex".....well...yesterday and today....we would be making out...uhhh...naked and "it" would kind of just Slip in...then...I don't know I guess you wouldn't really understand unless you had expirienced it before...but well...we didn't exactly stop....he didn't come, but the pre-ejactulatory stuff is supposed to have some "swimmers" or things in it...this sort of thing happened twice....neither time did he actually come...I am worried though because today I realized I was ovulating...plus my mom keeps talking to me about sex andhow it only takes one time for someone to get pregnant. Alek and I have talked about it...I'm going to get a pregnancy test in two weeks. And then We'll know...I personally know people like my friend Amy, who had sex a ton of times without any contraceptive, and the guy did come, and she never got pregnant....but still I'm worried. Very worried....Alek is 18 and if I try to go in for an abortion, he'll get sent to prison for stagatory rape...so if I am pregnant....regardless of whether I decide to have it or not...(and it would probably be not) the only way to keep him from getting in legal trouble we would have to get married. And if I do get pregnant, we will. Anyway, I'm pretty freaked out...I needed to talk to someone besides Alek about this...And you are the only one I feel I could trust...Also, if I do get pregnant, I have no idea how I would tell my mom, I wouldn't be able to tell her unless I knew for sure I was because she would just treat me like shit and make me feel stupider than I already do.....
I'm sorry to burden you with this, but I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
-Aimee

scribbled Aimee at 8:01 PM

 

80% Seme


How seme are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

scribbled Aimee at 7:58 PM

 
Band of the day: Aimee Mann
scribbled Aimee at 7:57 PM

 
Kurtis sent me this a week ago.
"Ammie what do I have to do to get you back???

I will just about do anything…

That’s how much I love you, and miss you.

I miss holding your hand.

I miss talking to you until I feel asleep.

I miss saying “I love you Ammie.”

I miss being able to touch you when I want to.

I miss kissing you most of all...

And I’ve always have loved you, and i always will"


scribbled Aimee at 7:57 PM

Thursday, April 24, 2003

 

Which Sarah Dessen Character Are You?
scribbled Aimee at 9:20 AM

 
Band of the Day: John Prine
scribbled Aimee at 8:40 AM

 
This is a letter I wrote to my cousin Roxanne:

Hey, Sorry it took me so long to reply, Life has been hectic...
Not to sound pessimistic....(but it did take me rather long to respond...) Are you are George still together?
The so-called "War" in Iraq is ridiculous....it does amuse me how we jumped targets from Afganistan and the "evil" Osama Bin Laden, to the equally evil goverment apparatus, of "Saddam Hussein" and his cohorts. Hehehe conspritially one would think we rigged the Twin Towers crisis, just to be able to target a Mid-Eastern country so that way we could the foolish Americans behind it all and then, "sneekily hopscotch over to Iraq" and get the American "Spirit behind us, to fight a individual we've been after for a while, after all Bushie Jr.s Dad was part of the CIA that taught Osama is skills.....But thats speaking conspritially.....
There are two sides to my actual views on the war....One side is...there is alot of propaganda out there about Saddam being the "new age Hitler" and if what we are doing over there (which I entirely doubt) is liberating "his" people from his facist tyranny, I support the war almost 100%, but I do think If (and this is a huge IF) we are actually doing that, it wouldn't make much sense to be patrolling oil fields, and blowing up civilian homes. So thats why the pther part of me knows that this war is wrong, because underneath all the propaganda about our counrty being a"lovely little democrasy that saves the rest of the world from its communist terrorist and shows the the golden holy light which is our goverment" I know we're just scared shitless to be losing our luxury which is the oil fields....So of course we have to puff ourselves up proud and bound over there to kill a few 100 thousand people to save the American dream which is convienance.

Thats my take on it. America should take a tip from Switzerland and remove their hand out of the rest of the worlds ass.

I am so envious, How were the concerts? Hehehe on this side of the world we only get people like Cris Williamson...
Speaking of musicians...have you heard of John Prine...I really love him. He's a folk singer and he writes some really cool poltical songs.
My "Boyfriend" Alek and I are still together...its really great when you've found the person you have that solid connection with....only problem is it makes everything else in your life sem worthless by comparison....
Anyway, I've been ranting too long...
Aimee
scribbled Aimee at 8:38 AM

Saturday, April 19, 2003

 
Band of the day: Eric Clapton
scribbled Aimee at 1:47 AM

 

Eva


Which high class ho are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

scribbled Aimee at 1:47 AM

 
I am no longer a virgin!
I had sex with him last week...well not really sex....there was pentration so, technically we did perform sexual intercourse. But it hurt like HELL, lasted about 2 minutes, there was no sort of climax on either end and we were both terribly drunk. So overall it was an average "first time"......
Anyway...I realize I haven't had much time to write in you...and I apologize....I went through a time where I just couldn't write without it being entirely forced...I think I've gotten over that and with that in mind I will begin to write in you much much more!!!
scribbled Aimee at 1:46 AM

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

 
9. I love that he admits his fondness for bitching about Society, Politics...blah blah.
10. I love that he relates so well to animals.
11. I love the fact that he dances like Groucho Marx when he's acting like a japanese school girl.
12. I love that he let me dress him up in womens clothing.
13. I love this eyes.
14. I love his obsession with licking things.
15. I love that he can be very romantic.
16. I love that he can be very un-romantic.
17. I love his sense of humour.
18. I love that he doesn't know martial arts but still flales around stylishly.
scribbled Aimee at 1:34 PM

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

 
I love him so completely. He's the best person I have ever been fortunate enough to meet. I can't imagine anyone more ideal for me. And he feels the same of me. His blue eyes grin at me in my head.
I love to touch him. To feel him. To speak with him. Fuck I know its corny as hell but I'm going to make a list of everything I love about him...over time of course.
1. I love that he won't sit on wet grass.
2. I love that he listens to Techno and finds the inner beats.
3. I love the way he's so rude to people he dislikes. or doesn't know.
4. I love that he's not homophobic.
5. I love that he;s opinionated.
6. I love the redness of his lips and the curves of his mouth.
7. I love that he over-thinks everything.
8. I love that it drove him crazy today trying to find a piece of gum he had spat across the room.
scribbled Aimee at 10:40 PM

Sunday, April 06, 2003

 

scribbled Aimee at 6:30 PM